My IVF Journey
Well, this is a bit different than yoga but I’ve learned I can’t go through “life things” without really sharing them either since I typically already share so much of my life with all you, my dear internet friends. I also cannot wait to share this next step of life - after all, it’s SO exciting - so I wanted to write all of this out and have it live on in a blog post!
A little backstory… I have three amazing kids from a previous relationship, all of whom I carried. It was very very easy for me to become pregnant and I had my babies young. I was 23, 25, and 26 when they were all born (putting them14 months and 19 months apart - three babies in less than three years). I was pregnant and/or breast-feeding for six years, but after my last son, my cycles became unbelievably uncomfortable, heavy, and would last forever. I became very anemic and worked with my doctor and naturopath to try and remedy my very weak body and in the end, I chose to have an Endometrial Ablation performed at 31. By choosing this route, I knew I was signing up for not being able to naturally carry any more children. While I knew I wouldn’t have any more biological children with my then-husband, I always thought maaaaaybe someday I would adopt. A lot changed in the following six years.
Fast forward to today and I’ve met and fallen head over heels in love (and like - goodness do I just like this man so so much) with my fiancé and we want to add to our family. While we don’t plan to become pregnant immediately, with my age and the lengthy process of fertility treatments, we’ve started the long journey to baby. Our process is one of IVF and ultimately surrogacy. Boy, did I take getting pregnant for granted in my 20s. My eyes have been opened to a WHOLE new world and community of infertility warriors. I have never felt more compassion, empathy, and love for everyone that has gone through any part of this process. Whether you were successful on your first attempt, on your seventh, gone through many miscarriages, donated your own eggs or embryos, or are still just praying for the finances to come through… I am reaching through this screen to send you all the baby dust, healing embraces, and love. I always thought I could do hard things, and then I went through this.
We had our first zoom call with a fertility doctor in the summer of 2020 based on a recommendation from my girlfriend who had two babies working with this clinic. We loved the doctor immediately and were ready for our contract. IVF alone is pricey and varies from state to state but we weren’t just looking at in vitro fertilization. We also have to add in surrogacy. IVF often isn’t covered by insurance and can be in the tens of thousands of dollars, and then there’s the medication as well. Surrogacy can add an extra $90,000-$120,000 to this process if we don’t know someone who might be willing to carry for us. Kevin and I talked a lot about what this all meant and how we were going to make this work. We are still figuring out the surrogacy side of things as infertility clinics and surrogacy agencies aren’t one in the same (another post will come when we walk further on the surrogacy road).
Anyway, a few ultrasounds, a lotta bloodwork, and a big check later we were given our “cycle calendar” and we began the egg retrieval process - the first step in creating our embryos. A giant cooler-sized box arrived at our door and in it contained 30+ injections that would essentially “supercharge” my ovaries into producing as many eggs as it could. Vials, syringes, needles, gauze, alcohol, and ovulation tests filled the container and we opened our laptop to watch the instructional videos on how to administer everything. Hello, anxiety! We knew we had a minimum of 10 days worth of shots and frequent appointments to monitor the size of my ovaries and follicles as everything grew. Our ovaries are usually one inch in diameter and during this stimulation process, they grow up to 5x or more in size.
After the first day of injections, I could almost immediately feel tingling sensations in my belly responding to the meds. I cried during the shots. Not because I was afraid of the needles and injections but because this felt BIG on so many levels!
I’m a deeply feeling and sensitive person and I feel it ALL. And as an empath, I feel for everyone around me, so I was always considering Kevin and my kiddos. As the days went on, my belly became swollen and my hormones took me on a ride. I was crying multiple times a day for absolutely no reason at all. While it did feel very cleansing, it, at times, made me feel like I was starting to lose my sanity a bit. Kevin was so understanding and gentle with me. I told him before we started this process that I would need as many hugs and kisses as humanly possible. From him, I feel love through physical touch and set him up for success by giving him that heads up before we started.
Beginning of injections
End of injections
To be completely honest, I didn’t do enough research before starting the cycle and quickly learned that I couldn’t break a sweat, practice full inversions, twist, or do any core work. Umm, guys, this is how I stay sane. Plus this was the strongest I had felt in a long time so to drop it all felt like I was gonna lose all of my major progress. I had JUST started getting my Pike Press in Handstand - a goal I had worked toward for four years! It was all for a great reason but it’s hard to press pause on something that brings you so much joy and release.
The first six days I was receiving two shots each night and the final eight days I was upped to three. Kevin said that he expected it to be more of an emotional rollercoaster from me. While I felt a little bonkers in my mind, the biggest emotional change for me was being so weepy. It was crazy how often the tears fell! I cried all of the time for the duration of the injections and the seven days that followed. I’m typing this ten days post-surgery and I finally feel like my normal self again. I leaned into just listening to my body and ate, rested, and napped when I wanted. I gave myself (and Kevin encouraged it) a lot of grace during this time and I can tell me body and mind thanked me for it.
When we reached day 10 of our IVF cycle and injections, we went for another blood draw and ultrasound and learned we needed an extra few days of meds. They monitor everything very closely at the end with these appointments in prep for the egg retrial/surgery day. The days felt long as I waited for shots but once we were finally able to “trigger” (the final shot that preps your body for the retrieval) it was go time. At 12:15 am I had my last shot and surgery was set for EXACTLY 36 hours later. With Covid, Kevin had to kiss me goodbye outside of the building and off I went into surgery. The doctors and nurses that work in the world of infertility are truly unbelievable. It takes a special soul to hold space for these women and families.
While the surgery only took about 30 minutes, Kevin waited for me in the car for about three hours. The surgery involves my doctor retrieving all of my eggs and then they immediately get fertilized with Kev’s sample that same day. The attrition rate is steep so even if you collect 18 eggs (like I did) you may only end up with two viable embryos (not sharing our numbers just yet) at the end of the whole process. I went home that day very sleepy and uncomfortably crampy. I stayed in bed that day and most of the rest of the week to heal and recover and let the spotting subside. The heating pad and I became best friends.
The following day we received a call with how many eggs were mature and how many fertilized. Then came the wait. There’s a lot of hurry up and wait in this process. A full six days had to go by before we got the call on how many embryos made it to the Blastocyst stage and ultimately how many could be tested for abnormalities and then frozen. Today, I can officially tell you we have healthy, frozen embryos! While we are keeping some details just between us, our IVF cycle was a SUCCESS! Thankful thankful thankful. Next step… surrogacy
Xx,
Chels